Sign in or 
Location: Our Literacy Story
Discussion: Our Story Lindsey C.
Category:
Discussion Forum /
General Discussion
Share this
Showing 4 posts
|
Posted Anonymously |
Our Story Lindsey C.
Nov 5 2009, 12:01 PM EST
It wasn't long ago before Dewy the alien became a hero to his home planet Mars. Our story starts off when Dewy was outside staring at the stars relaxing. Then all of the sudden Dewy heard a CRASH!! He jumped and got up. Dewy searched around his house and then right infront of him was a big rock. but it wasn't an ordianary rock it was flashing hot pink and kept shaking. Dewy didn't know what to do some part of him wanted to pick it up but the other didn't. The rock started rolling down a hill and Dewy chased after it. The night grew dark and cold and Dewy was still chasing after the rock having no clue where it will land and when it will stop. Soon the rock came to a stop and the hot pink light went out. The night was cold and there were no light and Dewy was far away from his home. Do you find this valuable? |
|
Posted Anonymously |
1. RE: Our Story Lindsey C.
Nov 9 2009, 11:52 AM EST
Dewy was all alone with nothing. Absolutely nothing. He couldn't do anything but cry. He was scared, alone, helpless. Dewy decided that all he could do was try. Try to pretend it's just an adventure, try to get back to his home, try to think of the good times instead of the bad. So he tried. He tried to find his way back home.He walked, and walked until he saw something. Light! He had found light! He sprinted towards it and started screaming with excitement. "MOM! DAD!" He then realized what the light really was, the moon and stars. Dewy laid down and tried to make a somewhat warm blanket out of the hot sand. Truth was, nothing was as warm as his cozy house where everybody loved him and he could do no wrong. Why had he chased the hot pink light? Why did the light have to be so pretty? But what's done is done was all he could think. It was all done. Do you find this valuable? |
|
Posted Anonymously |
2. RE: Our Story Lindsey C.
Nov 9 2009, 11:57 AM EST
where it will land and when it will stop.-is it past or present?????If it is the past it would be would instead of will. I would continue it this way:how Dewy finds his/her way home. What happens when he gets home, if he ever does. Does he have a mother? If he does what does she do to him wheen she finds out what he has been doing? Doe he ever catch the rock? What happens to the rock and what does he do with it? What is the rock? is it even a rock? what does it do???? Why is it flashing? Howe did he become a hero to Mars?If I were continuing this story, I would answer these questions. You should describe Dewy more in the beginning of the story, and the setting.
Do you find this valuable?
|
shegstrom |
3. Saved as a page
Nov 10 2009, 11:34 AM EST
This thread was saved as a page.
Do you find this valuable?
|
